Saturday 22 November 2003

Apocalypse Then

Chiang Mai to Phnom Penh

"Whatever you do Neil, don't miss the temples at Angkor in Cambodia."

So said my much travelled and much admired cousin, Murray, when I asked him where in the world I should go earlier this year. "Cambodia, you say?" I reply with a gulp and a sudden overwhelming urge to pee. "Eh, okay then."

To me, Cambodia has always been a mysterious and dangerous sounding country, often linked with the Vietnam war and ruled in the late 70's by a brutal regime led by the Khmer Rouge and Pol Pot. Seems he wasn't as laid back as his name would suggest cos I've seen "The Killing Fields" and there's not many hilarious outtakes at the end of that movie. The description of the current health and safety situation in my guidebooks does little to ease my overactive bowels.

On snakes... "by the time you see them, it's generally too late." WHAT?
It goes on... "If you are bitten, stay calm, try to kill it..." presumably by using whatever appendage is free of venom " ...and bring it to the nearest doctor." Why? Is he a collector?

On the countryside... "Cambodia is one of the most mined countries in the world. Don't pick up or kick anything that you can't identify." Don't eat the grey coloured pineapples then?

On crime... "Gun crime is actually more frequent in Phnom Penh than anywhere else in the country..." Yeah, that's because everywhere else is MINED!

So I arrived in Siem Reap, tourist gateway to Angkor, with more than a little trepidation but that's quickly dispelled by a guy at the airport holding up a sign with my name on it. He's there to take me to the hotel I booked from Bangkok and actually transports me around for the rest of the day. Will talk more about the people and customer service in this part of the world at a later time but safe to say, I started breathing a bit easier.

Just before I left Thailand, I was considering purchasing some jungle camouflage gear for this 'tour of duty' but just in time, I came across an article in a magazine that suggested that this may not be met with universal hilarity or approval. Close call on that one but I've had a hell of a time trying to conceal my bazooka!

I've seen a good few temples in the last three weeks but they've been of the more 'modern', pagoda variety, all sharply peaked roofs and shimmering with red and gold decor. They're impressive in their own way I suppose, but they've left me fairly unmoved. To me, they look like the kind of things that Michael Jackson might buy three or four of and then scatter aimlessly around his Neverland ranch!

The temples at Angkor, on the other hand are breathtaking. Some are over 1,000 years old and are in remarkable condition, others are crumbling and are being swamped by the jungle and these, if anything, have even more character. Initially, I had a romantic notion that I would be crawling and hacking my way through the vines and mangroves to actually discover the temples for myself. Instead, on that first late afternoon visit to Angkor Wat, I'm crawling and hacking my way through hordes of Japanese tourists and local hawkers to squeeze in a few sunset photos. There's more people here than attended Ghandi's funeral!

Thankfully, I bought myself a three day pass and on the second day I hired Mr Dany and his motorised rickshaw and went exploring the more remote temples. I'm there early enough to stay one step ahead of the tour buses during my clockwise sweep of the area but still end up seeing the same people everywhere, even a couple that I saw on the underground in Hong Kong!

It's hard to grasp just how big an area we're talking about here. Angkor Wat, the most popular and complete example of Khmer temples, occupys the centre of a site the size of Central Park in New York... and it's not the biggest. Angkor Thom, or 'big city' was once home to a million people and streched over a vast area. My favourites though, are the smaller temples which you actually do approach along jungle paths and only see at the last moment when you're really up close.

Make arrangements with Mr Dany to collect me next morning at O5.00 (quick movie quiz - what does the 'O' stand for? First reply gets a prize!) so I can see the sunrise over Angkor Wat. Initially, it seems like hundreds of headlights have the same notion ("if you build it, they will come"!) but after a spectacular sunrise, the place actually feels deserted as I wander about. This is opportune because one of the best things about roaming the temples is to find yourself a nice, quiet corner, preferably in the shade, and take a moment to have a right good scratch.... eh... sorry.. I mean, take a moment to contemplate the world as a whole and your place in it.

All in all, nowhere at Angkor disappoints, from the largest ancient city to the smallest, hidden ruins and I'm grateful to you Murray for pointing me in this direction. If you want to get a feel for the place, check this out:-

http://www.asiaphotos.net/gallery/Angkor/

After three nights in Siem Reap, I leave on the early morning boat for a five hour trip down to the capital Phnom Penh. In my imagination, this is going to be a hazardous and hairaising voyage down a claustrophobic river with me having to dive under a tarpaulin with the livestock every time a Vietcong gunship approaches for a spot check. In reality, we zip down on the Mekong Express, a modern, sleek, fast ferry with air conditioning, widescreen televisions and complimentary lunch. To be honest, I'm a little disappointed with all the modern trappings... but only a little!

Phnom Penh is another busy, bustling place, a smaller version of Bangkok, and it's hard to imagine that this city was all but emptied when the Khmer Rouge came to power in 1975. A million people occupy the place now and every one of them seems to own a motorbike. Watching the traffic here is mesmeric. Haven't quite figured out on what side of the road they drive - let's just say they seem to favour the right - more of a whim than an actual rule. Nobody's going that fast but they effortlessly weave in and out of each other like some expertly choreographed dance, with little regard for stop signs, red lights or junction/intersection etiquette. Somehow it all works though and I quickly deduce that the best way to cross the road is to just step out into the traffic and walk casually across - they just avoid you.

Only have a couple of nights in Phnom Penh and spend my one full day visiting the Toul Sleng Genocide Museum, and the Choeung Ek Genocide Centre, the 'killing fields'. These are stark, haunting, sobering places, particularly the museum which is a former high school that was used as a prison and interrogation centre by the Khmer Rouge. It's hardly been altered since 1979 and doesn't pull any punches displaying images of hundreds of victims and the instruments of torture. Twenty thousand people passed through this place between 1975 and 1979. Only seven survived.

The 'killing fields' site, 10 miles south of town, is surprisingly peaceful, serene, picturesque even. Shallow, overgrown depressions in the ground give evidence of the mass graves and it's not until you get close to the central memorial and see rows and rows of human skills and blood stained clothing that the place really hits you for six. On a lighter note, a bird shat on my leg on the motorbike ride back to the city!

So now It's Sunday and I'm back in Bangkok. Can it really only be three weeks since I arrived in Asia? When I spent June and July in the States, the summer seemed to last forever but these last three weeks have felt equally as long.

Bangkok has changed though, something's different. It's only when I overhear an animated, bar argument, do I realise that I've clearly travelled back in time to 1966 because England have apparently won something. Better be careful not to alter anything in this timeline in case they win something else in the future. Damn, I just stood on a bug!

Anyway, finally, my top, top tip when you visit Bangkok - do not, under any circumstances, casually flick your cigarette butt into the gutter like some Western, litter terrorist. Like me, you may find yourself getting a tap on the shoulder and being faced with a thin but athletic looking policeman demanding to see your passport and then leading you off to his buddies and making you a pay a 1,000 baht (15 pounds) fine for your misdemeanour. I tell you, for the first time in my life, the health warning "Smoking Can Seriously Damage Your Health" on the side of my cigarette packet took on a whole new meaning! So from now on, no smoking (in public), no spitting, no swearing, no littering, no loitering, no chewing gum, no jaywalking, no running with scissors, no running by the pool, no bombing and no trying to walk like Shaggy from Scooby Doo - that's just asking for trouble!

Tomorrow I travel to a Thai island paradise to stay in a beach hut for a week and give my six pack a nice tan... although I suppose that'll make the beer inside warm. Oh well! Tune in next time to discover which island. Till then.

Love, Neil x

Right, where's my 'Braveheart' video?

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