Thursday 26 June 2003

...Head Out On The Highway

Detroit to Austin

So, there I was in Detroit having played a little golf, drunk a little beer and visited a museum or two. Luckily, the car company had a Toyota that needed to go to Chicago so I booked it up and headed off across Michigan on Thursday 12th June. Had stayed up late the night before so decided to stop at a nice little harbour town, St. Joseph, which looks west over the vast expanse of Lake Michigan. Getting there, I drove through a not so nice little town called Benton Harbour. Two days later, this town went up in flames after a black motorcyclist was killed in a high speed car chase with the police. Riots, looting and the National Guard followed but I was long gone.

The next day, I drove to Chicago but decided to take a slight detour past Olympia Fields where the US Open Golf Championship was being played. Managed to get a ticket from a tout and had a fabulous day wandering the course, giving psychology tips to the pros on the range, drinking beer and heckling Colin Montgomerie! He took it with his usual good grace and dry sense of humour! Stayed there till they kicked me out then went to visit yet another golfing buddy, Brian who stays 35 miles west of Chicago.

Chicago is a very, very cool city with a fantastic public transport system (quite rare over here), splendid architectural skyscrapers (including the second tallest building in the world, Sears Tower), great sporting events, jumping jazz and blues clubs and plenty of quality shopping for all you ladies! Spent a lot of time there just wandering about, soaking up the sun and watching people. Got a little weak at the knees on the Skydeck of Sears Tower, though! Hey, did you know that the Tower contains 43,000 miles of telephone cabling and 25,000 miles of plumbing? No, me neither but I am a more complete person for having that knowledge. I've actually got a couple of other plumbing stories to tell but there's a time and a place....!

While we're talking about facts and figures, here's a few more for you stat lovin' geeks:-

3,030 - No. of miles I've driven to date.
26 - No. of pancakes I've eaten to date. (Not at one sitting!)
37 - No. of Starbucks coffees I've drunk to date.
11 - No. of States I've visited so far on this trip.
39 - No. of States that are left to visit!!!
73 - No. of mosquito bites I collected in Florida. (I was bored one night so counted them!)
159 - No. of times I've had to repeat myself to have my accent understood.
159 - No. of times I've felt like punching someone who doesn't understand my accent.
1,265 - No. of country music radio stations I found driving to St. Louis.
1,266 - No. of evangelical, God-fearing radio stations I found driving to St. Louis.
0 - No. of rap/hip hop radio stations I found driving to St. Louis.

Having bitched and moaned in my first update about not having a pick-up truck in Tennessee and Kentucky, the Chicago office of the car company had one that needed to go to St. Louis. I snapped it up and headed down there on Thursday 19th June but not before enduring a strange encounter at the car collection office. There's a fellow traveller there, the first I've met doing the car driving thing, and he's an old guy with a greasy looking vest and one of those tall fronted baseball caps that only real truckers wear! After chatting for a couple of minutes about places we've been he obviously susses my accent and says, "So sonny, you from Germany?"

I resist the urge to shout "JA" whilst snapping my heels together loudly and instead, correct him politely. Clearly embarrassed at his mistake he changes tack and tells me that he's a born-again Christian and is hoping to travel the world with a like-minded soul.

"Have you asked Christ The Saviour to come in to your heart yet sonny?" he asks expectantly.

"Yeah," I reply with a sigh, "but he never answered my e-mail so... what can you do?"

He pauses for a second, frowning, probably wondering why he doesn't have Christ's e-mail address but then continues relentlessly. "Well, when we die, we're either going to heaven or hell and only those without sin are going to heaven, you know." "Are you without sin, sonny?"

I choke and splutter loudly on my Starbucks coffee and furiously try to recall any murders or international frauds that may have casually slipped my mind. He seems to know what I'm thinking by interjecting, "Don't matter if it was a small lie, cheating on a test or wearing short leather jackets in the 80's - it's ALL sin sonny!" Okay, he didn't really say the leather jackets thing but thankfully at this point, the clerk returned with his paperwork and he headed off out the door with a firm handshake and a cheery, "Take care on God's highway sonny!"

God's highway turns out to be Route 66 to St. Louis although the old, romantic notion of Route 66 seems to have long since disappeared under the concrete of big interstates. Cross the Mississippi into the city and spend a couple of days seeing the sights. It's a close run thing as to which spectacle I enjoyed more - the splendid 600 foot, man made, stainless steel memorial arch, the Gateway to the West or the City Museum displaying the biggest pair of underpants in the world! Any more breakfast buffets and I could be shoehorning myself into them soon!

Despite the invitation from the city to head out west, I travel north on my first greyhound bus trip back into Illinois. I would encourage everyone to find themselves at a greyhound bus station at 7.00am on a Sunday morning to experience the rich diversity of people on this planet, most of whom are at different stages of the evolutionary ladder!!! As I queue for my bus which says "Omaha" on the front in big, black letters the father of a small (almost midget) family of four approaches me and shouts, "HOWDEEEEEE! DO THIS HERE BUS GO T'OMAHA?" Without speaking, I raise my eyebrows in as condescending a manner as possible and point to the sign on the bus. He says thanks and bundles his wee family aboard. I consider swapping my ticket for a one way to... well... anywhere really but they all fall asleep as soon as the bus gets going so it's peaceful enough.

Three hours later, the bus drops me off in a seemingly deserted town called Quincy. My Dad's brother Hamish stays here with his family in the middle of a golf course so safe to say, I haven't wandered far from the homestead this week

So, four weeks gone and four weeks to go. Tomorrow, I'm getting on an Amtrak train and traveling 23 hours to Austin, Texas for some sizzling barbeque action, some rodeo riding, some tobacco-chewin' and even more golf.

Until the next time, happy trails pardners!!

Love, Neil x

In the next thrilling installment...

1. Neil's Top Travel Tips.
2. Pancakes update.
3. Those plumbing stories in full, perhaps.
4. I've seen the fateful car, now I'll visit the grassy knoll in Dallas for a conspiracy/assassination exclusive!

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